Overworked? Procrastinating? We've all been there. It took me 4 weeks just to write this article :D
Just kidding, I bashed this out in 20 minutes because I'm a fundamentally better person than you are, so listen up.
Uncertainty kills
One of the most appealing things is a self-assured confidence that things are simple, and that if you just do x,y,z (like, just buy my course, vote for my party or whatever), then everything will be alright.
I even saw an interesting debate recently on the merits of British India. Some were arguing that India was basically a paradise before the British arrived, and they left it an impoverished nation while extracting all the wealth to Europe. Similarly fervent arguments were being made for India having been fragmented warring factions that were united and infrastructure being built among other benefits.
It's probably honestly just somewhere more boring like approximately in the middle. There were probably some benefits and drawbacks, and probably calculating the net difference is quite difficult to do accurately.
But people don't want that. They don't want nuance, they don't want balance, they want a simple narrative that explains everything and they don't have to consider it anymore. They want it done and dusted, task complete, move onto something else.
I have the silver bullet
So luckily for you, I can solve all your problems right now, just read on. Basically, just get over it. Just accept the fact that life is messy and can be confusing at times, but as you grow and learn patterns will emerge.
It doesn't stay confusing forever, you just need to keep plugging away, learning new things, getting better at stuff. You will find that areas of your expertise start to make sense, and you will see areas outside your expertise that you become humble enough to admit you don't know everything about them, and that's OK.
Be open to new possibilities and don't try and control everything.
Why life is hard
Really the challenge with living is the massive amounts of time in between you making a decision and reaping the amazing rewards (or harsh penalties) that life has to offer.
Some things are a culmination of many, many decisions along the way. Some actions a vote for success, others a vote for failure. Often it's the one with the most votes that wins the day.
How can you say one single action produced a happy marriage for example? A good marriage is the product of dedicated effort over many, many years. Of learning and adjusting, having hard conversations and learning how to share your life with another person.
Also some things get better before they get worse. Ever tried to tidy your garage? It will look messier before it looks tidier.
When things take a dip, how can you be certain you are doing the right thing? What if this is the temporary pain you need to go through to reach success? What if it's a sign you are going in totally the wrong direction?
Why that's stressful
I think if I said to anyone, that I could guarantee them millions of dollars. They just have to do some really hard job for 2 years, and that's it, the money is theirs. I've got the contract, it's secured against a huge portfolio of assets, there's no way for me to get out of it.
I think a lot of people would take that job. They would gladly suffer long hours, demanding work, new challenges. That pot of gold at the end of the rainbow would sustain them. They would relish the difficulties coming their way, knowing that each day they survive is a step towards financial freedom.
But if I reworded that contract to say that maybe I would pay them at the end of two years, and maybe not, I don't think that would appeal any more. Some people might give it a shot, but when you're a few months in and everything sucks, you are wondering if you are really doing the right thing.
And many things in life are a real long-shot. Training for the Olympics, sacrificing your free time, going out, having discipline on your diet, none of these things will guarantee you will even qualify let alone win. Sure they can improve your chances, but you never know. You might have an accident or injury, you might just not be as talented as other people, or plain old genetics works against you.
Is all the time and sacrifice really worth it, if you don't even know if you're going to get the result that you want?
You need a reliable process
So the key here is to have a process that you have faith and confidence in. Something that you know will eventually get you to where you want to go.
Wait a second, do you mean to tell me you have a 100% fool-proof process for winning an Olympic gold medal???!
Not exactly no.
Here are some things you can that might help:
Have a coach / mentor
Being coached by someone that did win a gold medal, or has coached other people to success, can give you more confidence in the process. No guarantee, but following a process someone else has already followed does increase your chances of success.
Of course things change, and what worked then might not work now, or what worked for them might not work for you, but it can be a step up than just making it up yourself. Also some people lie, and will claim they have a process for success when they do not. Beware.
The chances of you figuring out everything yourself are very, very small. Also many problems in life have been well-solved. If you set your sights a bit lower than winning the Olympics, then your chances go up dramatically as well. So there is a risk-reward curve at play here, and you can adjust your ambitions and risk accordingly.
Having a goal to say, buy your own house, there is a well-established process for that which if you follow it, can basically guarantee you achieve that goal. It's really really simple - spend less than you earn. Save your earnings in a low-risk investment. Once you have a deposit, buy a house you can afford. That's it.
Measure your progress
Measuring what you do against progress towards your goals, can also start to show you if you're on the right track. Trying to do too many things will dilute your efforts, and if you start measuring what you do, you will learn that some things just are not important. I.e. they do not contribute towards your goal.
This might sound silly because I'm going to exaggerate, but honestly people can be this bone-headed. People will get an idea like "touching my forehead with a damp cloth will help me buy a house", and they spend half their week doing this whilst spending lavishly on takeaways.
I've coached people in the past, and often they are using a "solution" to a problem that actually causes the problem. For example, I knew someone who was frustrated that people did not trust him, and so he would not get granted permission to do things that would normally require some level of trust. His brilliant idea? Deceive people into thinking he had done what he had agreed to do, so that he could get permission to do the things which required a higher level of trust.
But he would get found out, which would then lower the trust he apparently was so desperate to get.
It sounds unbelievable, but honestly this is the level most human beings are operating at one way or another.
Measuring things will just show you what matters and what doesn't. And if you're serious about reaching your goals, then you have to do what actually makes progress rather than what you wish would make progress.
Take a lesson from Sun Tzu
His famous book, "The Art of War" has some important strategic lessons that still apply in the modern era.
Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win
My takeaway from this, is have a process whereby even if you don't "succeed", you still win.
If you want to take a shot at the Olympics, great. Go ahead. What if you don't make it? Well, you will be quite fit and healthy. You probably have a ton of discipline that other people do not. You probably will meet a bunch of similarly ambitious and motivated people. You will likely get to travel.
There are a ton of other benefits that you could utilise if you need to pivot later in your career. Let's say you get to 35 and it didn't happen for you. Have a backup plan that is going to cash in on all this valuable experience you have accrued.
Use those connections and that knowledge to create something else.
You're not entitled to anything. You are entitled to take a shot, nothing more.
TL DR
So in summary, I try to do this:
- Have a process, and be disciplined enough to stick to it
- Look for improvements in the process, always learning
- Measure important things so I can hone-in on true cause and effect relationships
- Design it in such a way that I'm happy with all the outcomes - win win